Man Joke Alert!

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We’ve regularly written about all the extras you can add to your Twitch stream. We have generally focused more on the look of a stream. For example, we recently talked about the Top Twitch Templates, Overlays, and Panels for 2019. Much of what we have written about also applies to other streaming platforms such as Mixer, as the overlays and other such templates tend to use consistent file formats.

Funny Sleep Quote Mug/ Ideal gift for Xmas $ 14.18 – $ 17.19 Buy Now “People said follow your dreams, so I did, I went back to bed” / Funny Sleep Quote Mug / Ideal Xmas gift for tired people! $ 16.00 Buy Now “Morning: Tired, Afternoon: Dying For A Rest, Night: Can’t Sleep! / Funny Sleep Quote Mug / Ideal Xmas Gift $ 16.00 Buy Now. A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch. A woman passing by remarks, 'If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat to a lady.' He replies, 'If you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself.' Twitch Alert Sounds are nothing more than sounds that are played when one of your viewers performs a special action. This includes, for example, subscribing to your channel or leaving a donation. The Twitch Alert Sound that is played then brings a little movement into your stream and in the best case also makes sure that other viewers perform.

The Best Jokes about Men. What is that insensitive bit at the base of the penis called? What is the difference between men and women? A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. (WKYT) - UPDATE: Police said William Rae was found safe before 8 a.m. (WKYT) - The Lexington Police Department has issued a Golden Alert for a missing man.

However, you can do more to personalize your Twitch and Mixer streams. You can also customize some of the sounds. You can attach stream alert sounds to add to the atmosphere of your stream. Streamsentials has a detailed guide on how to set up stream alerts using a range of the tools that streamers use to broadcast.

Best Stream Alert Sounds for Twitch and Mixer

  1. Stream Alert Sounds – Own3D.tv

Own3D.tv offers a vast range of add-ons that you can use to customize your Twitch live-streaming channel. Most of these templates, graphics, sounds, and other add-ons are also usable on your Mixer or YouTube Gaming live-streaming channel, too.

Included in Own3D.tv’s offering is a range of Stream Alert Sounds and Twitch Notification Sound Sets. Own3D.tv currently offers 24 of these sound files. According to their website, “most Twitch Alert Sounds are just simple sound sets with no real meaning. That's not enough for us! On own3d.tv, you'll find Alert Sounds especially composed for Streamers on Twitch, YouTube, or Facebook. This way, you can highlight notifications in your stream even better and motivate your viewers to interact even more with you. Especially for followers, donations, hosts, raids, and more.”

Sounds vary from those relating to a musical genre, e.g., Alert Sound Package “Rock” and Alert Sound Package 'Dubstep,' to those connected to specific games, e.g., Alert Sound Package 'Fortnite.'

Own3D.tv

These are professionally produced Sounds for your stream. The Fortnite sound pack, for example, includes custom sounds that alert for Subscriber, Cheer, Donation, Follower, and Host.

  1. Nerd or Die Sound Effects

Although sound doesn’t get the large-scale treatment at Nerd or Die that graphics do, they do still offer three sets of sound effects. You can select from Pretty Sprites Sound Effects, Virtua Sound Effects, and Voice UI Sound Effects.

The Pretty Sprites sound effect pack contains sounds inspired by pixel art and the old school gaming era. This download includes pre-composed sounds that you can hear in the demo video, as well as the individual sound effects used to make them. Use these sounds with your Twitch alerts and YouTube videos. Alert Sounds for Twitch, YouTube, and Mixer. Suitable for uploading to services such as Streamlabs, Bebo, and Stream Elements. The pack includes 20 unique sound designs and 35 individual sound effects.

As its name indicates, the Voice UI Sound Effects pack is somewhat different. It contains a mix of male and female voice options, with sounds for Stream Alerts and Stream Deck Audio Triggers. It comes with three voice styles: General, Relay and Spark, and three message styles: informative, personality, and grateful. There are 12 unique messages per style, adding up to more than 200 voice files. Nerd or Die recommends that you match this audio alert pack with their Uplink Stream Package.

Nerd or Die

The Virtua Sound Effects Pack has 25 unique tracks inspired by the SEGA Genesis and 16-bit era.

  1. Soundsnap

As the name Soundsnap indicates, this site specializes in sounds, rather than in gaming add-ons. They aim to help you find the perfect audio clip. Soundsnap has more than 250,000 files in its Sounds Effects library, and they add to the library every week.

Soundsnap offers three payment options, two pay-as-you-go plans, and an annual subscription. If you are merely after sounds you can use as stream alert sounds on Twitch or Mixer, you are unlikely to change your sounds all that often, so you are more likely to prefer one fo the pay-as-you-go options. The three pricing tiers are:

  • 5 downloads for $15
  • 20 downloads for $29
  • Unlimited annual downloads for $199

You can browse sounds by Latest, Location, or Tags. Technically you can use any sound of a suitable length as a Twitch alert. However, Soundsnap does have a page of custom Alert sounds. It currently has 1109 Alert sounds, so you might need to spend some time going through the demo files to find the sounds that best suit your stream. If you click on More Info, each sound you will discover includes a series of Tags that Soundsnap believes best describes each sound.

Soundsnap has a user-friendly interface where you can filter your sounds in various ways, including length.

  1. Twitch Alert Sounds

The founder of Alert Sounds is a fellow streamer who was looking for some cool Alert sounds for his Twitch channel. He was shocked to find that there weren’t any sites dedicated to selling sound effects that were designed to go with stream alerts at that time. So he created this site. The site is a sister site to Streamplay Graphics.

Twitch Alert Sounds says it includes a mix of free alert sounds, premium alert sounds, and custom alert sounds. However, when you go to the Free Alert Sounds page, it says that there are not currently any products available.

There are currently 108 products in the Premium Alert Sounds section. It splits its sounds into:

  • Cheer Alert Sounds
  • Donation Alert Sounds
  • Follower Alert Sounds
  • Host Alert Sounds
  • Raid Alert Sounds
  • Sound Alert Packs
  • Subscriber Alert Sounds

This means that you can select specific sounds, or you can choose to collect them together in Sound Alert Packs. Many of the sounds/packs follow themes. For example you can buy the Jungle Sound pack for $4.99. This adds a little Jungle style percussion to your stream's alert sounds. That pack includes alert sounds for Cheer, Donation, Follower, Host, Raid, and Subscriber.

Of course, the sound name is purely an indication of suitability. As Alert Sounds says on its site, “If you think these sounds would be better suited for different alert types than how they're currently labeled, then, by all means, mix them up to your preference!”

  1. Streamer’s Haven

Streamer’s Haven offers free sounds for your stream. They say that they initially made their sounds for fun, but then decided that they should share them with the community.

Streamer's Haven is a site for streamers, offering streaming guides, tricks, tutorials, and more in a blog format. They include articles on a range of streaming topics, including a section on improving your streaming audio. As they say, 'with years of research and experience in the audiophile spectrum on a budget, we provide cheap ways to improve your audio quality and solve pesky issues like sending audio from your capture card to your PC.”

The site currently offers three sound effects for use on Twitch/Mixer/YouTube: Alien Alert SFX, Alien Alert SFX V2, and Banshee’s Wail SFX Alert (Horror Theme).

  1. Sound Alert’s Twitch Extension

Sound Alerts is a Twitch extension that lets your viewers play sound effects on your stream for Bits! It gives you a new way of viewer interaction and monetization. It is a relatively popular extension, with more than 25,000 streamers having downloaded it. Streamers have used it to upload more than 30,000 sound files.

Sound Alerts maks it more manageable for broadcasters to upload custom sounds, and viewers can trigger the sounds through using Bits.

  1. SoundBoard

SoundBoard’s strapline is 'nothing but sounds.' At the time of writing, they offered 545,033 soundtracks in 20 categories. One of these categories is Games, and a sub-category within that is Sound Bites for Stream. Currently, there are 33 sounds in this section, some with intriguing names such as 'Gundy FAT!', 'Hype Squad,' and 'Pacman Jones!!!'

Of course, you don’t need to restrict your searching to sounds within this section. You could find the ideal sounds for you to use as stream alert sounds on your Twitch or Mixer channel anywhere within SoundBoard.

  1. Freesound

Freesound offers a vast selection of sound files which you could consider as options for your stream alert sounds. Freesound aims to create an enormous collaborative database of audio snippets, samples, recordings, bleeps, .. released under Creative Commons licenses that allow their reuse.

The hardest part of using Freesound is that it isn’t designed just for stream alerts. There are thousands of sounds, and it can be challenging to find what you are looking for. However, with patience and careful searching, you may find the perfect sound you can use to individualize your stream.

  1. SoundBible

SoundBible is another site specializing in sound clips, as distinct from game streaming add-ons. It offers free sound clips for download in either wav or mp3 format. It provides free and royalty-free sound effects and clips for video editors, movie scores, game designers, and weekend sound warriors. It updates weekly. Downloads are free and upfront with large download buttons to prevent confusion.

  1. Audio Micro Stock Audio Library

Audio Micro is a stock music and sound effects library for creative people. The site offers a mixture of stock music, sound effects, and loops packs. It includes 429,110 sound effects from Star Trek, Apocalypse Now, Kill Bill, and more. There is also a library of more than 2,000 free sound effects.

As with all these generic sound effects sites, you will need to hunt for your perfect sound, although there is a category of 33 Free Amusement and Game Sound Effects.

You can filter your sounds in several ways, including by length, making it simple to find a suitable track for your streaming sound alerts.

George Carlin Quote

Women are crazy. Men are stupid. The main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.

Creation Order Joke

Man

God made man before woman so the man would have time to think of an answer for the woman's first question.

Man

Men, you may think you have a command of the English language, but when it comes to communicating with women, you may be surprised. Here is our dictionary of Womanese. Master these terms and you'll find your relationship with women greatly improved.

The Real Definition of Words When Used By Women

  1. Fine - I am right. This argument is over. You need to shut up.
  2. That's Okay - One of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. 'That's okay' means she wants to think hard and long before deciding when and how you'll pay for your mistake.
  3. Nothing - The calm before the storm. This means 'Something' and you better be on your toes. Note: Arguments that start with 'Nothing' usually end with 'Fine' (See #1).
  4. Five Minutes - If getting dressed, this means half an hour. (Don't be mad about this. It's the same definition for you when it's your turn to do some chores around the house.)
  5. Thanks - A woman is thanking you. Do not question this or faint. Just say, 'You're welcome,' and let it go.
  6. Loud Sigh - Not actually a word but rather a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. It means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is standing here wasting her time arguing with you about 'Nothing.' (See #3)
  7. Go Ahead - This is a dare, not permission. (Don't Do It!)
  8. Don't worry about it, I got it - The second most dangerous statement a woman can make. It means that a woman has asked a man several times to do something and is now doing it herself. (This will result in you asking at a later date, 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response, see #3.)

Differences Between Man and Women

Names

If Mary, Susan, Claire and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Mary, Susan, Claire and Barbara.

If John, Brad, Tony and Daniel go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Bruno, Scrappy, Peanut-Head and Godzilla.

Eating Out

When the bill arrives, John, Brad, Tony and Daniel will each throw in $20, even though the total is only $34.25. None of them will have any smaller bills and none will admit they want change back.

When Mary, Susan, Claire and Barbara get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

Money

A man will pay $10 for a $5 item he needs.

A woman will pay $5 for a $10 item that she doesn't need, because it's on sale.

Bathrooms

A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, razor, shaving cream, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Motel 6.

The average number of items in a woman's bathroom is 328. The average man would not be able to identify most of them.

Arguments

Women always have the last word in an argument. Anything a man adds after that is the beginning of a new argument.

Cats

Women love cats.

Men may say they love cats, but when women are not looking, will men kick cats.

Future

A woman worries about the future -- until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future -- until he gets a wife.

Success

A successful man is one who makes more money than can be spent by his wife.

A successful woman is one who can find that a man.

Man Joke Alert Sign

Marriage

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

Dressing Up

A woman will dress up when she goes shopping, empties the garbage, answers the phone, waters the plants, gets the mail and reads a book.

A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

Natural

Men wake up looking as good as when they went to bed.

Women will somehow deteriorate during the night.

Children

A woman knows all about her children. She knows about their best friends, romances, secret hopes and dreams, favorite foods, fears and dental appointments.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

Thought for the Day

Man Joke Alert Meme

Married men should forget their mistakes. There is no need for two people to remember the same thing.

Te Be Six Again

You really have to give this guy an A+ for effort.

George was a thoughtful husband. The tudors tv series. He wanted to give his wife something special for her birthday which was coming up soon. As he sat on the edge of the bed, he watched his wife turning back and forth and looking at herself in the mirror. 'Reta,' he said, 'What would you like for your birthday?'

His wife continued to look at herself and said, 'I'd like to be six again.'

George knew just what to do. On the big day, he got up early and made his wife a bowl of Fruit Loops. Then he took her to an amusement park where they rode all the rides. Five hours later, Reta's stomach felt upside down and her head was reeling. Never the less, George took her to McDonald's and bought her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake. Next, it was a movie with popcorn, soda and her favorite candy.

As Reta wobbled into the house that evening and flopped on the bed, George asked her, 'Well, Dear, what was it like to be six again?'

Reta looked up at him. Her expression changed. She said, 'I meant my dress size!'

Why Men Are Happier

Men can play with toys all their life.

Men can wear shorts no matter what their legs look like.

Men have one wallet and one pair of shoes which are good for every season.

Men can choose whether or not to grow a mustache.

Men can 'do' their fingernails with a pocket knife.

Men's bellies usually hide their large hips.

Chocolate is just another snack.

The whole garage belongs to them.

Weddings take care of themselves.

Men's last name never changes.

Everything on a man's face stays its original color.

Men only have to shave their faces and necks.

Men can keep the same hairstyle for years, even decades.

Men can do their Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on Christmas Eve in 25 minutes.

For men, wrinkles add character.

Men can go on a week's vacation and pack only one suitcase.

Men's new shoes don't cause blisters, or cut or mangle their feet.

Men don't have to stop and think which way to turn a screw.

Men have one mood all the time.

A wedding dress cost $5000. A tuxedo rental - 100 bucks

Men can open all their own jars.

Home > JOKES - Differences Between Men and Woman

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